Monday, September 12, 2016

Aiesha 's Post on Monday, 12 September 2016

As I looked outside the class room window I saw a big beautiful sky full of wonder. I saw big bright trees swaying with the wind. I saw small green bushes dancing around and I saw big white fluffy clouds like sheep peering down at me.

2 comments:

  1. Well written Aiesha. You have cut the waffle, so your poem flows. Your sheep simile is authentic, and it paints a great word picture.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really enjoyed reading this Aiesha. You didn't overwrite by adding too many similes and I agree with Mr Ronalds that the simile you chose was a believable and authentic one.
    Keep up the great writing!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your comments. Students love it when you leave a positive comment. Please add your name to your comments.